“This isn’t me!” This is more like me thinking… ‘what would John like?’ “What was wrong with me during that time I dated John?”
Much of our life we spend trying to figure out who we are. We get lost in others, we want to blend, we want to feel validated.
I was sometimes afraid to be myself for fear of judgment.. But why? Why didn’t I feel good enough and why did the opinions of certain people affect me more than others.
Many times I would do things to please others. I would pretend I liked things I didn’t. Half the time I didn’t realize I was doing it. All those paths led me to feeling empty again.
This realization of what we need to be happy doesn’t show itself in an obvious way. I wish I could tell you that all you need to do is snap your fingers and decide that you are going to be true to yourself and miraculously all falls into place. It’s just not that easy. You will fall many times and at first getting back up is harder because you lose a little hope. Hope in yourself, hope in the process, but this is all a part of your personal transformation. You just don’t realize it at the time.
How do we get to a place of peace and acceptance of ourselves. The answer is easy but the process is not easy. Be present.
In this very moment, be thoughtful, be kind, be conscientious. Be an example for those around you and ask for nothing in return. Let your acts of kindness be your own reward. I love this line from the poem, The Loving One by W.H Auden. “If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me“. Send out what you would love to receive. Send without attachment.
As the beautiful song from the movie Frozen says, Let it go. Much of what we hold on to and analyze and review in our heads is unnecessary guilt and discomfort that we have already realized. Why in the world do you think you deserve to feel that all over again? Let it go friends.
Do some spiritual work. Having spiritual guidance and making it a habit of reading teachings to help keep you stay aligned and conscious of your actions is ridiculously important.
I remember when I was a young gal and I read out loud a spiritual quote from a book I was reading to my mom. She looked at me and said, “well, that’s just common sense”. Is it though? I understand now as an adult, that this was in fact a defensive statement. Parents don’t know everything but they want you to think they do. We then pass this mentality on to our kids and make them stubborn creatures. Thinking that you don’t need reminders, constant conditioning, moments that inspire you to continue on your path is foolish.
I remember reading a status update on Facebook one day from an acquaintance. It read something along the lines of, “If you need inspirational books or quotes, you are weak”. I really didn’t like reading that because I immediately personalized it but then when I went to his page, all of his statuses were negative and mean spirited and it all made sense. We need moments to lift us.
The seeds you feed within yourself blossom. So if you are feeding seeds of jealousy by engaging in that behavior, that seed will rule. If you perform acts of kindness, that seed within you will rule. Be conscious of what you feed yourself. Be sure to feed the most virtuous seeds.
Be patient with yourself and be ok with being alone. Understand that a lot of growth happens during these times of solitude. I certainly learn the most when it’s just me and my teachings or me in nature.
The beautiful thing that happens when you allow your true self to shine is that you begin to attract the same in others. xo
Inspired by a friend and our life talks. <3