I went to a Meditation class a few weeks ago, before I got my horrible cold 🙁 and the topic of discussion was controlling your anger. I’ve been to many of these lectures now and I try my best to be present so that I can receive the message with the best intentions but it’s certainly challenging.
He spoke about skillfully learning how to respond to anger or negative situations. We have all been in this situation where someone says something negative or insulting and we are hurt and our instinct is to lash out at this person.
Actually this recently happened to me and I think having attended this lecture, helped me maintain my peace. I did however, find myself trying to explain myself better, thinking that the person truly misunderstood me but this seemed to get me nowhere. When I left this conversation, I questioned it…but in the back of my mind, I could hear my instructor say, (and I loosely quote) why should you let these mere words upset you, this person is probably hurt or has been hurt themselves and is therefore only speaking what they know. Try to see if from a compassionate place because that is much easier than seeing it with our mind. And if this person truly is mean spirited, nothing you say or do will change that, so why get upset? Think to yourself that you have probably been judgemental to someone yourself in the past and therefore, this is your Karmic destiny. He went on to call this, “purifying the moment“, which I thought was so lovely and uplifting.
Knowing that I have more control of my reactions to situations makes me less anxious about being in uncomfortable or difficult situations, because I trust myself more. This trust comes and goes, so I know that I have to constantly practice it just like anything we would like to correct. It is indeed a constant conditioning. But it is certainly a reassuring feeling.
At the very least, if you do feel yourself getting angry, the best thing to do is to walk away and take a moment for yourself. This will give you an chance to calm down and think more rational because if you do loose your temper, this experience will linger in your mind for a much longer period of time and cause you to constantly think about it. Which will really ruin your days and maybe nights.
He expressed very strongly, that the point is not to suppress our anger, because that is not healthy for us either. The point is to not allow ourselves to get to anger. xo