Part of getting over someone is finally deciding to see the red flags and/or listen to all the advice people have been telling you all along. Sometimes you can hear the same thing a million times but then one person will tell you something and it just triggers something in your mind, that you deserve better.
I remember in my early 20’s, someone told me something very simple, yet it was exactly what I needed to hear to move forward from a relationship that wasn’t right for me.
I had been harping on the hope that I had for this guy who clearly wasn’t the right person or in the right place to receive my gifts. When you fall in love with someone, you subconsciously decide to only see the best in them. You only remember the good things when you’re fighting and desperately need for them to call. You pine for hours, wondering what you could have done differently, what is wrong with you and his simple phone call to you would make you so happy.
We have all been there, but I think when someone just tells you, the hard straight truth, you are almost programmed not to listen, not to hear it because you have that beautiful hope. I was upset and pleading to this friend of mine, Ryan, feeling partly like an idiot for defending a guy who cheated on me with multiple girls(some of who I knew), because I knew how wrong that was yet I was trying to convince him that this person wasn’t a total jerk, that he had some redeeming qualities too. Why was this so important for me to make Ryan understand? Ryan simply listened and when I paused, he said, ofcourse he did, he must have had some great qualities to make someone like you fall for him. And something about that simple concept, that a person you love could have great qualities as well as bad, gave me my confidence back. I fell in love with someone who I thought was sweet and someone who treated me well. Ofcourse, there are many sides of someone and he had his own demons that he was dealing with. Something that I could not help him with, so, it was time for me to move on.
Relationships are so hard, but there are some really wise people out there and if you can surround yourself with them, your days can be a little easier. Sometimes throughout your life, you meet people and they share wisdom that you can’t exactly apply to your life at that time, but you should still listen, because someday you can dig into your wisdom chest and that tiny piece of advice could make a difference. xo