Today, similar to the last two weeks, it was really hard waking up because once I am awake, I must face my thoughts, my fears, my challenges and my anxiety of the unknown. Yet, every night before I fall asleep, I contemplate a list of things in my head that I know I should be doing to improve my mindfulness. I have this mental list because I’ve been here before and I’ve managed to get myself out but my demons have a way of tricking me into thinking that hopelessness is the easy way and that fighting is just too much work.
I have successfully climbed over to the other side of hopeless and it feels really good. Conveniently, my demons manage to hide those good feelings from me but my mind tells me today can be better and I believe it. I tell myself, today, you will begin doing those things again because that is what you need to do to keep yourself on the path of peace, the path of happy, the path of content.
Many days, like you, I lose this battle and I give in to the demons that want to keep me miserable, sad, hopeless. But today, I was triumphant. Today I fought through it and under my breath while taking my downward dog, I whispered to myself, “Not today demons, not today”.