Not much frustrates me these days, but I have noticed in the past few months that a few scenarios have brought me a bit of unease. It has taken me until now to truly examine what it is about this situation that was bugging me.
Very often, many of us are raised to be quite proud, but what is the real drive behind you being so proud. Do you refuse acts of kindness? Do you refuse simple help from others? Do you shun or immediately dismiss advice or comments from others without even listening?
One day, I offered a very nice and kind friend a relief from her everyday life. I offered to spend a very tiny amount of money so that she could participate in something with me that I thought would help or at the very least provide some laughter. She immediately refused but after my insisting, she gave in, only to cancel on me at the very last minute. I was slightly frustrated but more so disappointed.
You see, when we offer to do nice things, it’s actually an escape from our own selfishness. My doing a nice things allows me to work on my karma by doing something selfless and kind for someone else. When I see an opportunity to do something nice for someone in need, it fills me with a very priceless joy. This is a joy that no one can take from me because it’s a feeling and not an object. Once we re-condition our minds to understand that how we interact with others is the real gift and blessing to them, we improve our relationships all around us.
The other question here is, why won’t you allow someone to do something nice for you. Does this make you feel like you have failed in being self sufficient? Why is it so important for you to do it all? Do you then feel indebted to someone if they do something nice for you? Are you focused too much on the ego? All of these are stories and labels that you have conditioned yourself to believe.
A little self reflection told me that at one point in my life, I was also too proud and refused kindness, advice and help. For many of the reasons I mentioned above. How foolish!! I didn’t know it all then and I certainly don’t know it all now. We can always learn from other wise souls and it behooves us to be sponges to those who have learned their lessons a bit quicker than we have. I also feel that many times we are so wrapped up in proving who we think we are or want to be, that we mistake kindness for competition or giving in to the act of kindness as a sign of defeat.
From now on, let’s accept an act of kindness as exactly that, “an act of kindness”. Let’s not look too much into it and instead, allow it to inspire us to also do kind things for others. Re-condition yourself to acknowledge that giving someone a good memory or feeling is far more valuable than a physical object. And once you really connect with this idea, you will begin to feel the goodness flow through you when you do something nice for someone. You will really understand the value of it.
So, next time someone offers to do something kind for you, do something kind for them, and please accept it, it could really help their karma. xo
Photoshoot with the sweet children of Bethany Preston. Shot at Gould’s Inlet, SSI, GA