Life is perspective afterall….
I could have chosen to focus on the many couples around me traveling who didn’t say one word to each other or the affectionate couple in front of me, who could not keep their hands off of each other.
I was having a conversation with my good friend, who although is very optimistic overall, has acquired a very negative view on marriage. I imagine this view is based on his own experience with marriage(he is now divorced) and perhaps his observation of the marriages of family and friends around him. Not all of these marriages have failed, but in his opinion, they aren’t exactly succeeding either.
I think what happens in life is that we connect to something that becomes a significant part of our growth and when it really lets us down, it becomes our story. It becomes our internal challenge, although I don’t always think we realize this. For everyone it’s different. I know for me, I was cheated on disastrously by the first guy I truly cared about. The worst part, was that he cheated on me, with people I knew. As a result, it’s developed in me a heightened sensitivity to the kind of respect I feel is owed to me by someone I am dating. This sometimes skews my view of things because my perspective is shifted. I will as they say, expect the worst but hope for the best, (which by the way, is a horrible way to look at things). I know this is a challenge for me, so, I try to step back and really view the situation through unbiased eyes. This is very hard 🙁 but I refuse to be under the spell of a negative experience and let it taint my future experiences.
So, back to my plane ride… I was standing there, eating my french fries from the bag, waiting for my delayed flights new time to be posted. Everyone around me looked miserable and frustrated. However, about 2 feet in front of me was a couple, probably in their 50’s truly enjoying each other. They had their arms wrapped around each others waists and every now and again, the woman would reach in and smooch her man. They were giggling and smiling and just really really adorable. And just like that, when I changed my focus, I really felt their joy and everyone else just blurred into the background.
As we all settled into our seats, to my delight, that exact couple was seated right in front of me. I wanted so much to have a conversation with them and ask them what they did differently that made them the exception but my shyness got the best of me. That or I hadn’t had enough wine 🙂 I thought about the conversation that I had had with my friend and I couldn’t wait to share this with him.
Life is about perspective and what you focus on grows. It’s really that simple. If you focus on the fact that relationships are doomed to fail, then I guarantee you, that all you will see are those doomed relationships. But if you focus on those couples who actually enjoy each other, who are kind to each other, who inspire each other..because loving someone is easy, the challenge is respecting and appreciating them. Albeit these couples may be the exceptions…but if the saying “what you focus on grows” maybe this kind of couple, “the exception”….can become the majority. It’s your life…choose 🙂 xo